“So,” I said to Vrushali, our photographer, trying my best to be an Indian James Bond as the Q7 hurtled down the road. “This must be your first time at 200kph, no?” “Yes,” she replied dully. “Would you mind if I slept for a while? I need a bit of rest.”

So much for making an impression.

The point, however, is that the Q7 feels that stable at those speeds. Plus, there’s the small fact that it’s hard not to be a show-off when you’re at the wheel of something as supremely cool as an Audi Q7. We’re boys at heart, after all.

Our test car reminded me of an elephant. I don’t mean that in a derogatory manner; it simply happened to be grey and BIG, just like a pachyderm. No Audi carries off Walter de Silva’s Bulgarian beard grille design as well as the Q7 does, and the entire front exudes a good amount of menace, especially with the daytime running lamps, but we’d have liked a little more. The silhouette is the least impressive exterior detail of the car, the roofline offering an estate-car impression that might not go too well with some buyers. However, the sheer size more than makes up for it. The rear will not make anyone do a double-take, but is redeemed by the twin slash-cut exhausts and the wonderful tail-lamps, which can also be seen on the TT and R8. In S-Line trim the Q7 sports a five-spoke wheel design with an eye-popping 20” diameter and small ‘S-Line’ badging on the flanks. The recent mid-life facelift hasn’t made its way here yet, but judging from the press photos, rappers like Snoop Dogg and 50 Cent must be jumping for joy – there’s no need to pimp your ride when you’ve got the new Q7.

This car seems to bend the space-time continuum. No, really. It’s simply massive on the outside, but step inside and there doesn’t seem to be as much space as you would expect. Sure, four Shaquille O’Neals would fit inside without a jot of discomfort, but for the length offered, we would like either a proper third row or a boot larger than a cave – not a compromise between the two that leaves us wondering what the designers were thinking when they came to that third row.
They were really thinking hard when they designed the rest of the car, however – the seats in the first two rows are comfortable and the first row has adjustment for every which way. Familiar switchgear, including the instrument gauges, MMI interface and steering wheel-mounted controls will make you comfortable without you having to resort to reading the owner’s manual, something we’re sure all owners will appreciate. Despite the apparent size, all the controls are within easy reach for the driver, and rear seat passengers have the convenience of a remote control should their choice of music differ. The audio system is one of the best we’ve heard in a car – the Bose system has punchy lows and clear highs with no distortion at any volume. There isn’t any USB connectivity, however, and the Bluetooth module was absent from our test car, so we are unable to comment on that particular feature.
There are a lot of thoughtful touches in this car – the boot, for example, has a provision to keep luggage from moving around in the form of a metal bar and a belt that affix to rails on either side of the boot floor. Grocery-shopping mothers haven’t been ignored – pay careful attention to the right of the boot, and you’ll notice the two buttons, the lower of which lowers the rear of the car to the minimum ride height – and there’s a button on the bottom of the tailgate that needs to be pressed for the hatch to shut itself. Another thoughtful touch is the front and rear parking sensors, which are necessary for a car this big. The headlamps are woefully inadequate, but we expect the new Q7’s lamps to be powerful enough for Indian conditions.

Engine
The 2967cc V6 generates 233bhp@4000rpm and 500Nm@1750rpm. Despite the car’s 2.3-ton bulk, this engine is more than a match for it and hurls the Q7 to 100kph from rest in 10.5 seconds by sending its muscle to all four wheels. Plant your right foot and an unearthly growl emanates from under the hood, but it never feels out of breath at any speed. It is impressively flexible, as that torque figure suggests. During normal driving there’s a little noise from under the hood, suggesting what fuel it is you’re running on, but it’s never bothersome thanks to that Bose audio system.

Drivetrain
The automatic gearbox has two modes – ‘D’ for normal driving and ‘S’ for when you’re feeling sporty. The latter hangs on to a gear right to the redline, and also downshifts early when you brake. Shifts are crisp and quick, the DSG ‘box as satisfying as always.

Fuel Efficiency
Driven carefully, the Q7 returned about 8kpl. During our harsh testing conditions, it dropped to 5.5kpl – expected for the amount of power and weight the car has. The new 3.0l diesel engine in the facelifted Q7 is more efficient, according to the brochures.

Let’s get one thing out of the way first – this car is hard to handle in city traffic only because of its size. The concept of lanes exists only in theory in our country, which is why noticing that Maruti 800, half the size of the Q7, and avoiding it is hard work – as is resisting the temptation to run over autorickshaws that cut lanes without warning on spotting a gap that a biker would think twice about going through.
Ride at city speeds is acceptable in ‘comfort’ mode, some bumps filtering through thanks to the wheels and tyres of the S-Line trim. The steering is light and is accurate. Up speed, switch to ‘dynamic’ mode and the car hides its bulk admirably. It never once feels like it weighs over two tonnes! Try keeping it nearer 200kph for an extended period of time, though, and it gets tiring all too quickly, the necessary minute steering inputs required to keep it pointing straight wearing down the driver’s concentration. The ride does get a little harsh in dynamic mode, but that’s a fair tradeoff for the increased handling capability it affords. Ground clearance is never an issue with the air-damped suspension capable of raising and lowering the ride height, as demanded by the situation.

Braking
They’re capable, no doubt, but the first time you brake from high speed, you are inevitably going to face an ‘uh oh’ moment while you get used to the brakes’ lack of initial bite. Don’t get us wrong – this massive SUV stops dead from 80kph in 44.8 metres and 4.1 seconds, which shows that the car’s retardation is ample. It’s just that the initial pedal travel doesn’t yield the braking force and confidence we’d have liked from it. Press it further and you’re rewarded with loads of feel and excellent linearity – but that initial bite needs to improve, if only to boost driver confidence.

Tyres
Our test car was shod with 275/45 R20 Yokohama Advan STs, which, as expected, offered tremendous amounts of grip. They are relatively quiet at speed, but are road-biased tyres, so won’t perform too well off-road.

Safety
As befits Audi’s premier SUV, the Q7 is loaded to the gills with safety features. ABS, EBD, ESP, airbags, the whole lot is present to protect the occupants.

The Q7 price range begins at Rs 55 lakh, ex-showroom, Mumbai, with the S-line trim adding a bunch of features like the 20-inch wheels for a whole lot more. The worldwide SUV market may be shrinking, but it’s the opposite in India. As a CBU, the Q7 isn’t cheap, and neither will its spares or service be. However, it’s one of the few cars that will earn you stares no matter where you go. If you’re the type who has to flaunt what you’ve got, get yourself a Q7 – but you might want to wait for the facelifted version to be launched, it isn’t too far away.
Vrushali called me up a few days after we (unwillingly) handed back the Q7 to Audi. “The other day when we photographed the Q7, you were driving at two hundred kilometers an hour, were you?”
I’m marveling at that fact just as much as she does.